A word about boundaries and self-revelation

Hello, dear ones.
A friend of mine recently decided to make her blog private, meaning, accessible only to people she has specifically invited to read her blog. This has got me revisiting the choices I make in writing here.

Let me be clear: I share very little here. Very little. I show my knitting--that feels safe to me--and I also tell little bits about my life. But I decided early on that I wouldn't share much about my job, because confidentiality is a big issue for chaplains. And I wouldn't talk much about my personal business, because I am on a basic level uncomfortable with the wide-openness that blogs have. Its one version of a larger problem that many church people face--how to be transparent without sharing too much, how to be available without leaving oneself open to attack? How to be honest without scaring people? How to model freedom and self-acceptance without self-absorption and navel-gazing? I've turned out to be a fraidy-cat, too bad. I tend to err on the side of careful.

Now on the other hand, I love to read the blogs of courageous people who do talk about their problems, their relationships, their struggles with their children, their politics, their spiritual experiences, and yes, the joys and frustrations of their knitting etc. The sharing is what makes a blog interesting. My blog in comparison is boring--happy happy--limited--not even all that interesting to myself. Thats the price I pay, because this blog is read by my family and my mother's friends, people from our new church, not to mention strangers. I have a strong sense of self-censorship. I apologize to any of you who are bored by my blog. (I know you're out there, because you tell me you read the blog, but don't leave comments.)

I recently revisited a blog of an old friend, and I was struck again by how much he shares of himself, how much of him is available to me and to the world, just laying there on the internet for anybody to access. I want to thank him and the rest of you who feed my emotional life through your regular writings, you are precious to me.

And I apologize for this pretty boring, infrequently updated blog. Its a good thing my career or my identity don't rest on it, or I'd be in poor shape. If you want to know more, or are looking for more honesty, email me, or better yet, come by for coffee. xoAbby